July 10, 2008

Holy Crap. I’m growing up.

Posted in Life, Love, Personal, Sex at 12:06 am by Kaylaface.

So I’m going to beat Dad to this one. Not to mention this is the only place and I can blog without getting bitched at about this whole thing.

My seventeenth birthday is this weekend and holy crap are my hormones raging.

There’s this kid. We can call him K. We used to work together until he had to move last month. He’s pretty and funny. God, is he hilarious. Did I mention he’s pretty? We’ve always joked around about doing it but it was never serious, really, sorta. I mean, I was halfway joking and kinda kept that side showing. Being a virgin, I’m supposed to be looking for love, right?

Well, one night before he moved all the way to Florida, K and I worked an all night thing at our job (we work at a skating rink/arcade/lazer tag) and were in the back of lazer tag and things got kind of heated. There was lots of kissing and less working. BUT nothing else happened.

I walked away with regret for the first time in my life that I didn’t sleep with him that night. I mean, he’s been a friend for a year now and I’m so comfortable with him, I mean, why NOT have sex with him?

Here’s the good news: K’s in town this week to pick up more of his stuff and we spent the first day together at my boss’s house…in the pool..alone…yeah. Use your imagination. So we talked and didn’t talk and hormones are raging.

Bad news, once again, I screwed up and left a virgin again. I made up the excuses such as “Maybe I want love” and “I’d just be a girl on your list” and “what about the other girls” and “OH yeah! You live 15 hours away now!” etc. He came back with “It’d be your birthday present” and “who cares? we’re teenagers.” and “come on? what happened to before?” (I texted him and told him about my regret) along with “even good girls got to be bad sometimes.” Still, I backed out. Crap.

I thought it about it long and hard (pun very much intended) that night and decided, why the hell do I need to be in love? What is love to a seventeen year old girl anyway? Why can’t I start a list of my own? He can just be the first name on it. 🙂 No real attachment other than the first boy to have sex with right? It’s not like he’s just some guy off the streets. He’s a person I’ve known for so long that I feel comfortable with and can imagine doing <i>it</i> with.

My friends don’t like this idea though. Apparently I should wait for someone who cares enough to go at my pace and whatnot. When I’m ready.

Okay, I think at this point, when it comes to K, I’m ready. Like Daddy said, I should go to Sam’s Club and get the big “OPEN” sign. I mean, I think I’m more ready for this than SpongeBob is for work. Seriously.

I’m a teenager. I have hormones and at this point, they’re really kicking in. He’s leaving the day after tomorrow so it’s pretty much now or a few months from now and I really don’t want to wait that long, but my friends make it seem like I’m a horrible person if I sleep with him just because he SAYS he’s slept with a lot of girls and he now lives far away. But it’s like, I’ve passed this up TWICE, should I really do it again?

fuck me. not you. him. :]

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9 Comments »

  1. illictantumvos said,

    Good stuff.

  2. Lou FCD said,

    🙂

    I was totally not going to say a thing, honey. It’s your decision, your life to blog or not blog about. I would never have divulged such a thing about someone else’s private life.

    That said, we’ve had our discussion, and it’s your decision now. I’ll support you either way.

    Love and Kisses,

    Dad

  3. Lou FCD said,

    P.S. I’m really happy that you felt comfortable enough to come and talk to me about it.

  4. Diana said,

    Lou – So am I, but kinda curious which way you’re leaning. . . . .

    Anyways

    K, there’s a reason why you stopped yourself the first two times, really. And I know sometimes people blog for stranger’s opinions but I couldn’t not chime in. I’m with your friends, your smart friends. I think you should wait for it to be with someone you’re in love with, not just some one you love. But I kind of see your unmentioned side of the point too. Do you want your first time to end up being a druken one night stand, or with someone that you care about.

    Your first time really isn’t as much fun as what you hype it up to be. It’s usually the second, third or even fourth time that ends up being ‘worth’ it. So do you get that ‘first time’ done and over with. Your decision will stick with you forever. I hope I’m not chiming in too late but I know what ever you decide, it’s already been decided. You have your whole life, not every one has to lose their virginity as a teen. But if you choose to, please be careful and safe!!!

    How’d it go??

  5. ERV said,

    I mean, I think I’m more ready for this than SpongeBob is for work. Seriously.

    I loled so hard at that… LOL!!!

    All I can say is that my ‘first time’ was mutual. No pressure, no ‘Itll be your birthday present!’, no protests when I insisted on a few more dates pre-sex (a few dates prior).

    Youre Lous daughter, so I dont have to give you the lecture… But Im a virologist so I have to: When you do start having sex, take birth control, wear condoms, get your HPV shots, and have fun!!

  6. Thanks ERV. I would like to point out the fact I really did say the SpongeBob comment to him.

    Here’s the cool thing about being Lou’s daughter: I never really get sex lectures. Dad’s really cool about it so we just talk. The only time I ever really felt lectured was when I first got my “little friend.”

    As far as condoms and birth control goes, we’ve got it all figured out. I’m already on birth control and I keep condoms in my purse and in my room for any emergencies.

    Thanks for stopping by and for the concern. :]

  7. Diana said,

    “The only time I ever really felt lectured was when I first got my “little friend.”

    Hey, I didn’t lecture you, I ‘educated’ you and got you goodies!

  8. haha. I got lectured after you gave me back to Dad. going to bed that night was miserable. I tried to fake asleep as quick as possible, but he got to me before I could.

    Crap. That was hilarious now that I think about it, but it sucked then.

  9. Mar said,

    thanks for sharing your love life with the whole world.


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